


i luv u, luv u, hate, foolish

by whatislovebomb



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, au w irl references, i wrote a whole fic to scream my feelings about their soulmate rings, samo in hawaii, sex but it's not the focus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:07:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25118116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatislovebomb/pseuds/whatislovebomb
Summary: Momo's always loved Sana. It's why they've always stayed friends. A trip to Hawaii could never change what's between them... right?
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	1. I Love You

Momo is normally a simple person.

When Chaeyoung requests colors like “chartreuse” and “carmine” paints for her product concept mock-ups, Momo wonders why she doesn’t just say yellow and red. During Momo’s childhood, all the Hirai family pets were named based on “how they feel.”

Momo likes or doesn’t like things. Simple.

True to fashion, Momo would simply describe the current moment as “hot.” Sana’s dark, lust-filled eyes were the first things she saw this morning. Twenty minutes later, they were still tangled in a kiss.

“Hot” falls flat. Nothing is "simple" when Sana is involved.

Momo squeezes her eyes shut as the ball of heat in her core pools and tightens tightens. With every silent lick, suck, and teasing featherlight caress of Momo’s skin, Sana stokes a fire strong enough to burn them both away. Sana scorches a path down Momo’s sides, brushing her hand lightly against Momo’s tight abs.

“Sana, slow down. I can’t keep quiet. Jeongyeon’s still asleep—“ Momo whimpers helplessly before the languid circles traced against her inner thigh make her suck in a breath. Her eyes fly open to see her best friend, sweat glistening on her flushed face, newly settled between her legs.

Sana presses a kiss against Momo's thigh and smirks. “Who said I wanted you quiet?”

Momo can’t even reply before Sana lowers her head and licks her _there_ without warning. Involuntarily, Momo’s hips buck away only for them to be cupped and held in place. There’s no escape now from Sana, Sana, Sana, and the controlled sparks of heat her tongue brings. Momo's jerky motions settle to match Sana’s pace and pressure. The rhythm is familiar but no less mind-melting and soon, punctuated by a deep moan, Momo’s nerves truly are alight, sending shock waves of warmth and pleasure rippling through her. Head still spinning as she comes down, Momo barely registers when Sana rests her head on Momo’s shoulder and throws an arm across her chest.

They breathe. Finally.

The “after”—when they’re wrapped in each other tired and satisfied—is what Momo dreads every time she and Sana do this. The high—the warm floating feeling that relaxes her body—makes it too easy to pretend that things are different. In the silence, the thoughts and hope _for more_ in Momo’s heart spin too loudly for her to ignore. Everything feels _too_ right when it’s not even real.

She breaks the mood by slapping Sana’s ass. “Gross. Get off me. You’re sweaty.”

Sana jerks a little with surprise, but doesn’t budge. She nuzzles against Momo’s neck and clings on even tighter. “Hmph, like you’re not.”

“But that’s different. That’s my own sweat,” Momo argues, even as she adjusts her arm around Sana’s waist so they’re both more comfortable. God, she was hopeless.

“Well, I had way more than just your sweat in my mouth, so… Deal. With. It,” says Sana, tapping Momo’s collarbone with each syllable. Momo can feel Sana’s lips curve against the crook of her neck before she giggles.

“Yah, stop being so cocky.” Momo wants so badly to lean forward and plant a kiss on Sana’s hair. Instead, she pulls back, rolls her eyes, and glares.

What a mistake. This view of Sana, blonde hair tousled and brown eyes twinkling and alive, sends Momo’s heart slamming against her ribcage. When Sana reaches up to cup her cheek, Momo fights the urge to lean into her palm.

“Just saying, that was pretty fast, even for my skills. Did you have a wild dream, Momo-chan? Did you dream of me?”

 _Fuck._ _When don’t I dream of you?_ “Why are you asking? Why do you have to know?”

Sana looks like a cat who just cornered a mouse. “Ahh, someone’s feeling pubescent again. Fine. I won’t pry.”

Staring intently at each other, they’re about to lapse into another loaded silence when Sana’s phone pings with a volley of notifications. Sana pulls away to check, and the tension dissipates. Relief floods Momo’s body. She pulls on a tank top and a pair of shorts and grabs her own phone.

Minutes scrolling on TikTok gives her a video of two shiba inus squishing the face of another in the middle. Basically, Dog Momo and Dog Sana sandwiching Dog Mina. She has to show Sana. “Hey, have you seen this?“

Sana’s on her back now with the covers (regrettably) pulled up, still distracted by her phone. “Hmm?”

Momo’s more curious about what Sana’s focused on. “You’ve gotta watch this.”

“Okay, let me just send this.” Sana sends her text and replaces her phone on the bedstand. She flops back over and says with a smile, “Guess who’s got a date today?”

Momo struggles to keep her face neutral. “Oh? Who with?”

“Eunha from Starry Inc.”

“Oh, her. She’s cute.”

Momo remembers her. That girl with the pretty bob at the last company party who’d tripped on her way in and landed on Sana. The two of them had spent almost the entire time talking and laughing. Flirting. Momo had spent just as long making repeat trips to the food and wine table, talking to the others to pretend it didn’t bother her.

“Yeah… She is,” agrees Sana, but it sounds like a question. Whenever someone new comes along and she mentions them to Momo, Sana’s tone is always dripping with questions she never asks.

Momo licks her lips and swallows the answer she never has. “You have to leave and get ready, right?”

“Yeah… Sorry, I can’t stay longer.”

“It’s okay. You probably need a lot of time to fix a face like that.”

That comment earns Momo a pillow to the face. She falls back, shaking with laughter as she watches her best friend get dressed. Even though Sana is leaving, she’s still wearing Momo’s favorite hoodie and joggers, opting to pack the tight dress she’d worn to the club last night in her bag.

When Sana’s dressed, they walk to the door. Sara completes the look (and her thievery of Momo’s clothing) when she puts on Momo’s favorite pair of slides. Momo asks, “Did you want me to walk you down?”

Sana shakes her head no before pecking Momo on the cheek. “That’s ok, Momo-chan. You already did so much today and last night. Wish I could have stayed for your breakfast. I miss your matcha pancakes.”

The spot where Sana touched her is warm. Another beat passes when they’re trapped in each other’s stares before Sana finally turns to walk. Momo only closes the door when Sana sticks her tongue out before disappearing from view at the end of the hallway. Leaning her forehead against the door, Momo sighs, finally letting herself sink into the uneasy feeling of Sana acquiring yet another new target.

“You’re really never going to say something to her?”

Cross-legged on the couch sits Jeongyeon, still in her pajamas. Even with bloodshot eyes, messy hair, and hangover bloat, judgment and concern radiate from her as she swigs coffee from her mug.

“About what?” Momo ties her hair into a messy ponytail and starts toward the kitchen.

The dining table rattles when Jeongyeon plops her mug down forcefully. “Oh, I dunno… Maybe that you love her? Or at least that you have a huge un-killable crush on her?”

“When did I say that?” Momo rummages through the cupboard for cooking oil and dumps it into the frying pan.

“Or maybe that every time she walks out of here to meet someone else you mope like a brat?”

Ignoring Jeongyeon’s comment, Momo grabs a spatula and opens their fridge. “One or two?”

Jeongyeon furrows her brows. “You moping? I’d say hours, days… weekends?”

“Eggs. Do you want one or two?”

“Are you forreal?” says Jeongyeon, slapping the table with her palm. “Momo, do you seriously think things aren’t going to change between you and Sana if she becomes serious with someone?”

“Those people only last a week or two anyway,” Momo says nonchalantly, already cracking an egg into the pan. “It’s fine as it is. Anyway, one egg or two?”

Jeongyeon lets out one final exasperated sigh. Her hand twitches to throw her coffee mug at Momo’s head. “Two. One for each of you idiots.”

Momo cooks the rest of the eggs and throws some bread in the toaster oven. Over breakfast, she texts Sana, who is already back at her apartment. She DMs the video of the shiba inu trio.

 **sana:** AHHH, HOW CUTE! TT__TT How am I going to get ready properly if I rewatch this 6000 times?!

 **momo:** yah! look nice for your date

 **sana:** true, she IS super cute, so I’ve got to look SUPER CUTER

Sana’s lovers might get to kiss her, hold her, call her sweet things like Momo does in her dreams. But they aren’t around when Sana gets mopey and homesick and needs a home cooked meal. Or when Sana gets stressed and needs a good workout and a shopping spree after. As long as Momo gets to be that person by Sana’s side, that’s enough for her. Staying friends is simplest. Nothing was worth risking that.

 **momo:** does that even make sense…

 **sana:** sorry i don’t speak korean well

 **momo:** WE’RE TEXTING IN JAPANESE (~_~メ)

 **sana:** (✿◠‿◠)

 **sana:** btw i feel kinda lazy to get ready cuz mina’s not here lol. can i call you rn?

They stay on the phone for two hours before Sana realizes she’s an hour late to her date.

* * *

_Momo’s right._

Nothing changes. Momo and Sana still hang out with the others—along with Eunha when she’s free—at movie nights and dinner and arcades. They still hang out alone together doing normal best friend things like painting each other’s nails and shopping.

Even their not-so-normal “best friend sleepovers” continue. At first, Momo worries that they’ll end when Sana starts dating Eunha. But Sana never says anything when they apply new shades of lip gloss or feed each other yogurt and wind up tangled, gasping, and sweaty.

Momo never asks. Once again, it’s simple. Momo follows what Sana wants to do. What Sana wants to do is usually what Momo wants to do anyway.

_Momo’s wrong._

Sana is still dating Eunha after a month. Whenever Momo asks about how they are, Sana distracts her with a cuddle or a kiss so hot that she can’t think straight. 

Momo never pushes it. This time is precious. She might as well enjoy it now, even if she never sees the end coming. 

Whenever Sana kisses her, Momo kisses back twice as fiercely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been sitting in my drafts ever since SaMo went to Hawaii last year. Finally got over my trepidation around putting this out into the world. ^___^


	2. Just Round and Around You

What sucks most about working at the same company as your closest friends is that you can never _all_ take vacation together. Jihyo, Jeongyeon, Dahyun, Tzuyu, and Chaeyoung had all gone to Switzerland earlier in the year. It was their turn now for Hawaii.

For the last two weeks, Momo couldn't sit still with excitement. As soon as she wrapped up her last major assignment—choreography for the next title track comeback of ITZY, JYP Entertainment’s popular rookie group—she’d started stuffing her luggage. Half of the group chat between the four of them was links she’d spammed of local food they all _must try_.

Which is why Momo hates this nervousness sitting in her stomach. Sun, sand, surf, and food are waiting for them, but all Momo can think about in these airport lobby seats is Eunha. Eunha and Momo and the stiff tension between them whenever their eyes meet over Sana’s shoulders. Eunha and the way she stared at Sana leading Momo by the hand past the security gate.

“And what do you think, Momo?”

“Eh?” Momo jumps a little, finally noticing the hand waving in her face.

Nayeon sighs loudly, and gestures at Momo and Sana sitting opposite her. “What’s with you two? Are you even excited to go? No one listened to _anything_ I said about what me and Mina _painstakingly_ planned for us! Mina, isn't that enough to make you feel... unappreciated?”

Other passengers at the gate begin to whisper and stare. Mina’s eyes widen slightly. “M-maybe Sana and Momo are just a little tired?”

Nayeon crosses her arms. “Hmph, Mina, you’re always too nice to them.”

“Of course I’m excited!” Momo insists. “I just didn’t say anything because I trust you! With whatever you planned!”

Nayeon's brows raise. “You trust me? What if I had planned for us to walk off a cliff? You’d still trust me?”

“Yes, of course, I trust you _that much_ , unnie," Momo says impishly. She's already plotting how to accidentally splash Nayeon with a pool noodle while she's sunbathing.

“What about you, Sana?”

Even now, with Nayeon waiting for her answer, Sana looks like she’s staring through the floor. Momo flicks the back of Sana’s hand, making her blink in surprise.

She gives an apologetic smile. “Hmm? Sorry, I wasn’t listening. Did someone say something?”

“Ha, at least one of you is honest,” says Nayeon, pointedly nodding at Momo.

Voice barely audible above the din of the airport, Mina asks, “Sana, is everything okay?”

“Sorry, I was just… thinking. About Eunha.”

Clapping her hands together, Nayeon smiles widely. “Oohhh, thinking about Eunha and it’s barely been an hour since you said goodbye! What about her? Her smile? Her lips? The way she looks when you guys are—”

Mina claps her hand against Nayeon’s mouth and hisses, “Stop. People are staring.”

“Mina, are you embarrassed? It’s okay, unnie will protect you!”

Mina just manages to wiggle out of Nayeon’s attempt to snake her arms around her shoulders when Sana says softly, “Eunha asked me to be her girlfriend. Again.”

Two pairs of eyes immediately slide to Momo. What the hell? Shouldn’t they be concerned with Sana—Wait, did she hear that properly?

Momo tries to make eye contact with Sana, but her gaze is firmly planted on the floor. “' _Again_?’ She asked you before?”

Sana smooths the bottom of her shirt. “Oh, right… I forgot to tell you, Momoring. She asked two weeks ago, but I turned her down then. I just wanted something casual, you know? But now… you know at the gate when we were saying goodbye? Yeah…”

Forgot? Sana, her best friend since kindergarten, _forgot_ to tell her? Momo doesn’t believe it. But she also doesn't know what to say while she's reeling from the shock. “Ah…”

“So what’d you say, Sana?” Nayeon presses. Momo's head is swirling between desperately wanting and not wanting to know.

“I didn’t give her an answer yet. But I’m thinking about it pretty hard. She’s been really sweet about waiting.”

Momo’s shoulders suddenly feel stiff and heavy. Suffocating. Mina and Nayeon are having a silent conversation. And Sana? Momo can’t bear to look at her, so she shifts, pretending to stare at the row of terminal shops on the side opposite them.

“What do you all think I should do?”

Mina is the first to say something. “Well, if she makes you happy… you deserve that. I can tell it’s different this time.”

Nayeon nods. “Yep! She’s cute. She’s single. She wants you. Why say no?” The intercom interrupts Nayeon with a ten-minute warning before their boarding time. “Oh, that soon? Mina, restroom! Let’s go! We'll meet you too in the boarding line, ok?”

Her friends' words are true. Momo knows that. But it doesn't make the feeling of betrayal stabbing through her gut any better. Momo watches Mina and Nayeon walk away with their luggage and weave through the crowd as she tries to hold it together. She needs to get away, away, away from Sana. But she’s too overwhelmed to stand. She closes her eyes. She needs to breathe. She needs to calm down.

“Momo, what do you think I should do?” Sana's leaning close enough that Momo can smell the white mint of her toothpaste. This time, Sana’s trying to make eye contact, but Momo _can't_ right now.

“Does it matter what I think?” Momo doesn't mean for it to come out sounding clipped. But it's all so raw still.

“You’re my best friend. Of course it does. Please, Momo.”

 _You’re my best friend._ With those words, Momo is reminded that she has no right to be this heartbroken. They were just friends. Momo’s stupid for acting like this.

Momo jerks back, and sadness floods Sana's eyes. With an effort, Momo swallows the bitter edge of her jealousy. “Sana, you’re the only one who can choose who you want to be with. As your _friend_ , I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”

Instead of the relief Momo expects, Sana looks defeated. “Thanks for the support, Momo-chan. It means a lot,” she says in a flat tone. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “Come, let’s join the others. They're already lined up.”

Huh? Isn't that what she wanted to hear? Was Momo reading her wrong ‘cause they’d been spending more time apart lately?

Sana's gentle hold around Momo's wrist makes her skin tingle as they make their way to the others. They're huddled close enough where Momo only smells the clean peach scent of Sana's lotion and sees brown roots beginning to sprout beneath her bleached hair. Even in the middle of the airport, Momo's heart and senses are full of Sana.

At the same time, " _You're my best friend"_ and _"I forgot to tell you, Momoring"_ bounce inside her head as they shuffle forward in line.

By the time they're about to hand their boarding passes over, Momo already knows there's no way she can last _a whole flight_ next to Sana. Half of her wants to kiss her and the other half wants to toss her out the airplane window. (With a parachute.)

Momo taps Nayeon's shoulder. “You have a window seat, yeah? Can we trade?”

Sana's face immediately falls. But Momo needs space. The jealousy and hurt within her needs space to combine and combust so hard that they fizzle out. Maybe then she can face Sana.

Momo hates being a fool in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 1/2 were intended to be chapter one together but... i kinda overrode my intended chapter length/posting schedule bc i wanted to post the first scene (chapter 1) before i lost the nerve to do so. still debating with myself on continuing to post 1k+-ish updates as chapters that are updated more frequently vs. the original-length chapters i intended.
> 
> hope the inner momo angst is hittin your sweet spot (if you're into that as much as i am haha)


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